Rachel's Dream Read online

  The ride in the trailer had been hard on him since the horse had been so weak to begin with. And now as he met Cinnamon’s large, sick-looking eyes, he spoke with as much conviction as he could.

  “Cinnamon, you’ll rebound. I know it.”

  Slow steps took Jarred to the door of the barn. He stopped and returned to the stall, where he knelt and pressed his palms together.

  “Dear Lord, only You have the power to heal this special horse. It’s too late to fix the situation with my parents, but please create a blessing on this sad day. Please work a miracle on Cinnamon.”

  *

  In her bedroom late that afternoon, Cinnamon was on Rachel’s mind. As he’d left in Jarred’s trailer that morning, she’d said an extra-strong prayer for her horse’s recovery. Cinnamon’s empty stall left her with an odd combination of relief and sadness.

  Relief because Cinnamon was with Jarred. Sadness because she missed Cinnamon. She breathed in the comforting aroma of her apple-scented candle as she mentally recapped the day’s events. She still believed with all of her heart that her horse would rebound. In fact, in a way, it eased her mind that he was with Jarred. She didn’t carry the stress on her shoulders of her father putting Cinnamon down.

  Emotionally drained, she closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she blinked at the bright light floating in through the window as the sun left the sky.

  The air smelled of rain. The unexpected downpour had forced her parents inside for a while. Now they were outside putting things away.

  With great optimism, Rachel focused on her hope chest and opened the lid, automatically reaching for her journal and pen. Before stepping to her desk, she paused, as usual, to admire the horse and buggy. As she took in the beautiful artwork, a tear slipped down her cheek.

  Leaving the lid open, she took another look at the sky before getting comfortable in her chair. The kaleidoscope of colors mimicked many different paints dumped into the same can.

  If God can create such beautiful colors in the sky … If God will give Hannah a tiny baby, then surely He will heal my beloved Cinnamon. If not for Jarred, I would have already lost him. I don’t blame Daddy. He truly believes that putting Cinnamon out of pain is the best thing. How can I hold that against him? But I know better. Life is precious. And I also believe with all of my heart that Cinnamon will recover.

  Old Sam always taught me to look at my glass as half-full. To respect a beating heart and to preserve it, because life is a miracle. Although I understand how Daddy feels, I am praying to understand why my parents don’t have stronger faith in God’s healing powers.

  Rachel gave a frustrated roll of her eyes and silently ordered herself to heed Sam’s advice. Being upset will get me nowhere. How can I see what happened today from a positive view?

  Deep in thought, she tapped the end of her pen against the blank journal page. As she did so, the earthy scent of manure floated in through her window. Rachel supposed most would find the smell offensive, but she looked at it as God’s natural fertilizer to help the produce grow.

  She pressed her palms together and squeezed her eyes closed to whisper the Lord’s Prayer. Then she continued with her own personal words to her Savior. “Dear Lord, thank You for sparing Cinnamon’s life.”

  She caught a powerful breath. “Please work a miracle on the horse I love with all of my heart. And please comfort Jarred on the anniversary of losing his brother. Amen.”

  As she opened her eyes, a new sense of peace welled up inside her chest. She smiled and wrote.

  While praying, I just realized what I haven’t recognized all day. The glass is half-full. I was focusing on losing Cinnamon. Now I should be thankful that God spared his life. God planted Jarred here to save my horse, and I have faith that He will help me to reconnect Jarred with his parents. I am as sure of this as I am of the tiny freckle on the top of my hand.

  She pulled her knees closer to her chair for a better view of her words.

  God has my life planned out. Because of that, I realize that setbacks are necessary in order for me to have the ending He has planned. Sam told me once that good comes from bad.

  Today was the turning point for Cinnamon’s recovery. I am blessed that Jarrod took responsibility and that my father allowed him to. I respect my dad. I love him and look up to him.

  God is blessing me because of my prayers and my faith. And He sent an angel to rescue Cinnamon. The angel’s name is Jarred, and I don’t know what I’d do without him. Oh, why can’t I feel this way about someone who’s within my own faith?

  *

  Two days later, Jarred followed his daily routine with Cinnamon. Since the ride in the trailer, Rachel’s horse had lost ground. Jarred had done everything he could to save the gelding, to get him better.

  Jarred stood with his hands on his hips. “Dear Lord, I know it’s wrong to let this horse go through more pain if he won’t make it. Please work a miracle on Cinnamon. And please help me to do what’s right. Amen.”

  Jarred’s chest pumped with a combination of frustration and uncertainty as he pushed out a sigh and stroked Cinnamon’s mane. “I know you’ve tried your hardest to get well.” He planted a firm kiss on Cinnamon’s wet nose.

  He thought of how devastated Rachel would be if she had to say good-bye to her horse. As usual, his pulse picked up when he thought of her beautiful face, her soft, compassionate voice. He’d tried to suppress his romantic feelings for her, but now, he was in over his head.

  He let out a deep sigh. While he took in the struggling horse, he frowned and squeezed his eyes closed as the realization hit him. When he opened them, he gave a slight nod of acceptance. It was time to put Cinnamon down. For the first time since Cinnamon’s illness, he knew what needed to be done. I’ve got to talk to Rachel first.

  Before leaving the stall, he did what he could to aid Cinnamon’s chance of survival. To ease the pain. Telling Rachel what he was about to do would be difficult, but a voice inside of him told him that he’d done all he could.

  After washing up, he got in his truck. During the drive to the Kauffman farm, his chest ached. “Please, Lord. Have her understand.”

  When he pulled into Rachel’s drive, he decided to speak to Mr. Kauffman first. He pulled the key from the ignition, stepped from his pickup, and gave the door a shove. Slow steps took him to the woodworking shed behind the barn.

  Rachel’s father came out to greet Jarred with a firm handshake. “Doc Zimmerman, I didn’t expect to see you today.”

  Seriousness edged Jarred’s voice. “Mr. Kauffman, I’d like to talk to you about Cinnamon before I tell Rachel.”

  Before Mr. Kauffman could reply, a soft, familiar voice made him turn. “Tell me what?”

  Chapter Nine

  Rachel struggled to accept that putting Cinnamon down was best. Sitting in the passenger seat of Jarred’s truck, she attempted rational thought. As she contemplated the agonizing truth, she sat up straight and interlaced her fingers into one fist on her lap.

  Thank goodness she was with Jarred. Being with him filled her with a most-needed sense of peace. After talking with Jarred, her father had given permission for her to ride with Jarred to his barn to say good-bye to her beloved horse.

  Jarred’s concerned tone interrupted her thoughts. “I’m sorry, Rachel.”

  “I trust your decision.” She lowered her voice to barely more than a whisper. “You’ve done everything humanly possible. I’ve prayed for a miracle.” She paused to close her eyes. When she opened them, she turned to him. “I still am.”

  “Me, too.”

  A lone tear slipped down her cheek, and she caught it. “I have to let him go. But it’s hard.”

  “I wanted for him to rebound. I’ve seen miracles happen. I mean, viruses are unpredictable.”

  He lifted his shoulders and glanced at her before returning his attention to the road. “Maybe I’ve been too optimistic. By the time I got him to my place, he had already failed a lot. That ride was tough on him. But
it’s certainly not to blame.”

  She nodded agreement.

  “But, Rachel, let’s look at the glass as half-full.”

  His statement made her smile. A laugh escaped her. “You’re starting to sound like Old Sam and me.”

  Jarred’s lips curved in amusement. “That’s a good thing, right? Your positive attitude is rubbing off on me. I know God will take Cinnamon into heaven.”

  She turned a bit. The seat belt over her chest prevented her from directly facing Jarred. “I’m praying that God will bless Cinnamon with eternal life.” A combination of uncertainty and hopefulness edged her voice. “Jarred, do you really believe that will happen, or do you say that to make me feel good?”

  She watched the corners of Jarred’s lips turn up.

  “I’m far from a Bible expert, but I seem to recall that the Book of Revelation talks about horses in heaven.”

  Rachel sighed with relief. She relaxed her hands across her lap. “How could I forget? Jah.” That realization filled her with new hope.

  Jarred’s voice was soft, but reassuring. “Our days on earth aren’t many, when you think about it, Rachel. But eternity is a long time. When we’re in heaven with Cinnamon, we’ll probably wonder why we were so upset about putting him down.”

  She considered his calming words and pressed her lips together thoughtfully, taking note that he’d acknowledged himself as responsible for Cinnamon and his fate.

  “Jarred, I don’t know how I would get through this without you. You’re my rock.”

  What seemed an eternity later, he pointed. “This is it.”

  As they pulled into the long drive leading to a small one-story house and an old barn, Rachel’s chest ached because of what was about to happen. The back of her neck tensed and she stiffened. A pain filled her chest until she felt light-headed.

  Jarred parked in front of the barn and turned off his truck. He proceeded to open Rachel’s door. She breathed in and tried for composure as they walked side by side to the barn.

  Jarred stopped a moment and faced her. “Are you sure you want to be with me when I do this?”

  Salty tears stung her eyes, and she blinked. She squared her shoulders. “Jah. I want to pray one last time for a miracle. With you.”

  He helped her to kneel, then joined her on the damp clover. His side touched the fabric of her dress. She didn’t care that this contact was inappropriate; on the contrary, she relished its comfort.

  “Dear Lord, I pray one last time for a miracle. If You take him, please bless him with eternity in heaven. Amen.”

  They stood and regarded each other in a mutual understanding. As they stood at the large barn doors, a sound stopped them.

  *

  Cinnamon threw his head back and whinnied. Jarred and Rachel looked at each other in astonishment as the horse snorted and clomped its hooves impatiently.

  Jarred’s jaw dropped in a combination of shock and surprise while Rachel threw her arms around the long, cinnamon-colored nose.

  “Cinnamon! I love you, love you, love you!” Rachel closed her eyes as if taking in what had happened. When she opened her lids, she flung her hands in the air. “God answered our prayers! It’s a miracle!”

  Still trying to comprehend what appeared to be a healthy Standardbred, Jarred stepped over to Rachel.

  They looked at each other in joyous disbelief before bursting into laughter.

  A chuckle of relief and disbelief escaped Jarred’s throat as they both planted affectionate kisses on both sides of Cinnamon’s long nose. Rachel cried tears of happiness while she nuzzled her face to the horse’s.

  As Jarred watched the two, he mentally confirmed what he’d already admitted. Rachel was special. Unique. He knew a lot of good people, but God had made this girl with an especially kind heart. Because of her strong faith, and his, God had blessed them with a miracle. Reality nearly pulled all of the breath from his lungs.

  Excitement filled Rachel’s voice while her gaze stayed on Cinnamon. “Jarred, is this for real?”

  “I hope so.” He looked at her as she caught an emotional breath.

  “You’re truly my angel.”

  Color warmed Jarred’s cheeks as he took in the compliment, as always, uncomfortable with the credit she gave him. In response, he offered a slight nod of appreciation. “I just happened to be here at the right time.”

  Rachel shook her head. “No, Jarred. This wasn’t circumstantial.” She paused.

  Before he could say a word, she jumped in. “Without you, Cinnamon wouldn’t be here.”

  “With strong prayers from both of us, God wouldn’t let us down.” Automatically, he checked Cinnamon out. He glanced up as Rachel dusted straw from her dark blue dress with her fingers.

  The thought of joining the Amish church entered his thoughts again. The more he thought about Rachel, the more time he spent wondering if he could live like the Amish.

  “Jarred, you’re a wonderful doctor. I remember when you first came to Cinnamon. You told me that time plays a vital role in recovering from a virus. And you stressed prayer.”

  He offered a slow nod. “Time and prayer.”

  Cinnamon put out a loud whinny.

  Jarred threw his hands in the air. “And some people don’t believe in miracles.” He pushed out a deep breath. “Now … the true test.”

  He went to a box on the nearby shelf and took out some sugar cubes. He returned to Rachel and held them in front of her, dipping his head.

  “I’ll give you the honor.”

  She took the treat between her fingers, pulled in a deep, hopeful breath, and grinned. “Here it goes.”

  Jarred watched in utter amazement as Cinnamon licked the sugar cube from her hand.

  Rachel’s eyes glistened with moisture as she said two words to Jarred: “Thank you.”

  Jarred swallowed an emotional knot. There it was again. Her faith in him. The strong admiration Rachel offered him was something he’d never experienced. “I don’t deserve such praise. You know …”

  She lifted her chin. “Jah. You’ve told me about Matt. I also know his accident wasn’t your fault. You’ve helped me. Now it’s my turn to come to your rescue.”

  He smiled. “First of all, I’d like to talk about us.” He paused before looking into her eyes. “Rachel, I like you.”

  On opposite sides of Cinnamon, they looked around the horse’s nose and conversed. She laughed with excitement. “I like you, too, Jarred.”

  “Rachel, would you consider dating me?”

  He noted the slight hesitation. Several heartbeats later, she lowered her voice to an uncertain tone. “But … you’re not Amish.”

  He motioned to the bales against the wall, and they sat down next to each other.

  “Rachel, this is a day to celebrate. I know that we’ve never had a serious talk about us, and I don’t know if there’s a proper time to discuss it. How about now?”

  She drew her hand over her heart and breathed in. “I would love nothing more than to date you, but, Jarred, my parents expect me to marry within the church.”

  He smiled a little. “Joining the Amish church has been on my mind, and I’ve decided it’s what I want. For me. For us.”

  “Jarred!”

  “I plan to ask your father’s permission to court you. Today.” Several heartbeats later, he added in a soft voice, “I love you.”

  *

  Jarred loved her. Later that day, he filled Rachel’s thoughts as she collected eggs. But did she love him?

  The afternoon sun coming in from the roof windows prompted a happy smile. Her heart did a joyous beat as she recalled how God had taken sadness and turned it into a huge blessing for her, Jarred, and Cinnamon. She reached into the chicken roosts and carefully placed brown eggs into her cloth-lined basket.

  Cinnamon’s miraculous recovery wasn’t her only blessing. The other miracle was the strong feelings she and Jarred shared for each other. His desire to join the church that she loved with all of her heart. Today
, he would ask her father’s permission to date her.

  Suddenly, she tensed while she considered the big step they were taking. The sound of men’s voices floated into the barn. They morphed into one continuous sound, so she couldn’t understand the words.

  Her pulse jumped to a speed that was a combination of excitement and nervousness. From the small window, she glimpsed the two walking into the woodworking shop.

  Surely Daddy will let me date Jarred. There’s no one else I’d rather be with than Cinnamon’s doctor.

  *

  Jarred tried to stay calm as he walked the fence around the Kauffmans’ pasture with Rachel’s father. Jarred respected the man. At the same time, his hands shook.

  He yearned more than anything to spend time with Mr. Kauffman’s daughter, and convincing Mr. Kauffman to allow him to date Rachel might not be easy.

  After chitchatting about Cinnamon’s miraculous recovery, Jarred stopped and faced Rachel’s dad. He cleared the stubborn knot from his throat and squared his shoulders with forced confidence.

  “Mr. Kauffman, I’d like permission to court your daughter.”

  *

  Later that afternoon, Rachel worked in the kitchen. Daddy’s stipulation to Jarred wasn’t unexpected. He wouldn’t give his blessing for Jarred to date her until he’d joined the church. Rachel rolled her eyes. Look at the glass as half-full. That day will come, just like my new little niece or nephew and Cinnamon’s miraculous recovery.

  The corners of Rachel’s lips stuck in an upward position as she considered her future. God guided her life, and she was grateful. She wiped the metal lids and carefully placed them on glass jars of tomatoes and juice. The large fan couldn’t put out enough air to compete with the boiling mixture that made the air hot and damp. Fortunately, her dad had replaced the fan battery again, so she didn’t have to worry about it going dead.

  As she glanced out the window, her gaze traveled to the barn. Cinnamon’s stall was still empty, but not for long. A grateful sigh escaped her when she imagined her beloved horse eating sugar cubes from her hand. Her thoughts of Cinnamon included Jarred. The doctor and the horse were now an unbreakable pair, no question.